Wednesday: Finally Over the Hill

Finally hung some new Christmas lights in the room - my last ones broke. These ones make my room look really blue but it's great for mood reading so what the hey? I figure it was about time for a little change after the past couple crummy days. 

My sister's been at calm and the house has been peaceful. I finished my homework early and all I have left to do for the rest of the day is read. I'm super excited. I haven't had the chance to read a novel-novel in so long. 

I can't wait to start Fangirl. It basically personifies my life right now so I'm hoping it's gonna be really awesome. 

Just wanted to post this little update here before I head off to bed. I hope all of your weeks are going well. 

P.S. Have any of you watched the last Sherlock episode? Oh my gosh - MIND BLOWN. It was literally a roller coaster of emotions. I'll post a full thing on Friday when I get the chance - but holy Tom Cruise Tacos was it intense. 

Midweek Reflection

It's only Tuesday and I'm already waiting for this week to end. I don't know about everyone else, but our finals are in two weeks and I'm beginning to feel the stress building up. 

One of my New Years resolutions was to not put so much stress on grades but it's hard when every single adult practically tells you that grades are the only thing that really matters. They may never explicitly say this, but it's always implied - at least that's the way it is for me. 

I can't help but think that maybe there's an easier way. But then I think about it and realize there isn't one. I've put myself in a position and mindset where things really do matter to me. There are pros and cons to that I guess - I'd just like it if maybe it didn't make me feel so crummy all the time. 

It's all about positive attitudes I suppose - something I need to take up when I comes to school these days. 

And note:

I'm not always this concerned about life and everything like that - even though it may seem like it sometimes. I think the mix of dreary Tuesday afternoons, coffee, a calc test, and four hours of sleep does that to you. 

Welcome Weekend

 

This weekend could determine my future. I hate being overly dramatic, but I'm thinking that maybe there's a little bit of truth in that statement. 

I have two college interviews this weekend, committee meetings for DYW, group project meet ups and a whole bunch of finals studying to do. It's not gonna be fun, but at least I'm enjoying myself now. Watching the basket ball games today, getting ice cream with friends on a group project outing, and editing resumes. Sounds fun - I think. 

I can't till Feburary - it's gonna be awesome. But until then I'm stuck where I am so the most I can hope for is not to stress out too much. 

Gotta go - they just scored a point. 

Rooms

Like almost every other teenager, I like spending time in my room - and more importantly I like sleeping in it. 

When we first moved here every single moment of free time was spent trying to make it feel like home. I put up posters, I painted my walls, bought excessive carpets. Eventually, it started feeling less like a room and more like a sanctuary. 

But now that it's almost my time to move out of the next and go out on my own I'm beginning to really treasure it. I love the private time it offers and the peace and quiet I get away from my family. 

When I leave my mom's plan is to paint over everything and give it to my brother. I'm supposed to get the guest room. I guess that's fair, but it sort of makes it official, you know? 

I means that I'll have no where that's officially and exclusively "mine". 

Open Letter to Math (And How I'm Doomed to Like You Forever)

Dear Math,

You suck. You make me wish that numbers didn't exist. The numbers, the pain, the integrals. Everything that contains numbers basically makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry. But at the same time I can't help but do it. It's not just because I'm taking the class, that happened based off of inevitability. I'm taking it because I'll need it eventually (they say).

Sometimes I think that maybe language is like the highest form of math. By the time you get to multivariable basically everything is in letters - it's terrible. But what if the high level math you go it just becomes a language. It'll be like Elvish, but not as cool.

But, as much as I hate to admit it math really does help. I mean, I can figure out how to find the volume of a Hershey's kiss now - it's a about perspective I suppose. It's really hard to wrap my head around it now. The fact that I can't become a natural math wiz like some of the other guys at my school is kind of sucky.

I could spend a good couple paragraphs just ranting, but my fingers are getting cold and I'm not sure if I'm really that up to it. You're not worth it.

So I'll just end here Math - I need to go and finish homework.

Sincerely,
Camille Cooley

Airports

 

I've never been to an airport this many times in only a couple months. I don't know whether to be excited that I get to do all this traveling to terrified that I'm never at home. It also doesn't help that I hate being in planes but that's besides the point. 

I hate how people romanticize airports like it's some kind of door to adventure. I mean, I get where they're going with it, and I suppose there's some validity to it, but I just can't buy into that whole thing. 

Airports are just that: airports. I can see how you can romanticize cities or libraries, airports just seem like a stretch to me. Maybe because it's because I'm too objective, too disenchanted by my hatred and fear of flying in a metal tube thousands of feet in the sky. Or maybe I always find myself stuck there during a layover. 

Airports are always where I end up in the in-between. They're where I am whenever I really have no where to be. 

Sometimes I think that maybe I hate the airport so much because it reminds me of how my life has become so much like an airport. It's my senior year, I've applied to colleges, things are beginning to end. Right now it just seems like I'm just waiting for the next big thing to take off and send me somewhere. Or maybe I'll be waiting forever for a flight that's been canceled. 

But then I stop myself from thinking these thinks.

 I hate it when people romanticize airports. 

It's Been a While (and now it's ending)

So summer has gone and past - it's been a while. I started my senior year with a boom (or at least I hope I did anyways). I won't bother to sum up what the past few months have been like. It's been hectic and I even have a hard time processing everything. HOSA, Distinguished Young Woman, school, and college have absorbed my life.

Quick Summary:
I went to Nepal
Competed at State for DYW
Visited Chicago
Went to a HOSA Leadership Conference in Washington DC and Sacramento
And started senior year.

HOSA Washington
Leadership Academy

It's been hectic, I won't admit it - but it's been a journey. HOSA has been such an integral part of my life - I'm no longer an awkward freshman. I've become a leader, made new friends, and become a part of a leadership team that has changed my life for the better. I've always known what I wanted to do - at least I have an idea. For one it's going to be in the medical field - that's why HOSA is such a big help for me. But I LOVE global health - working with NGOs and traveling around the world would be such an amazing and fulfilling experience. I, for one, will be the first to say I want to be there when Doctors Without Borders finally reenters Somalia - the help that you can achieve there would be incredible. And that's the thing with HOSA - it's given be a chance to take a step closer to those goals. It's been prevalent throughout my entire life so far and I can't wait to continue on this journey.

Hospital in Nepal

I've gotten to travel across the country to meet my congresswoman and become an advocate, train in Sacramento - HOSA has given me so much and for that I'm grateful.

I've also went to Nepal to volunteer at a hospital there - I suppose that's where I lost touch with this blog. It was amazing and incredible and I'll write another post for it because I can't even describe how amazing it was.



I'll say the same thing about Distinguished Young Women. For those of you that don't know what it is, it's a scholarship competition for young women. The girls that I met at the state competition at Bakersfield have become my life longs friends.

DYW State Awards

Chicago was awesome. I got to drive up to Michigan to visit family, look at colleges, and fall in love with city other than the one I'm from.

In Chicago in front of
The Congress Hotel

I can ramble on and on about a ton of things but I'll end it here.
I'm going to be posting a lot more on this blog about stuff.
I know this post was just a complete mess, but I like to think that's just a reflection of my state of mind.

So whoever you are - thanks for checking my blog out and I hope that you and I can figure out how to survive senior year together.